I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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