you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
