Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Everyone says I win the strip club
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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