she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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