She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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