you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We're too hungover to prance.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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