Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
