You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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