Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
