dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
