he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
