We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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