You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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