You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
