Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
