video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
