listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
