As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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