i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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