She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
