Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
