is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
