So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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