i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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