But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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