I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
