Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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