Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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