how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
