Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
