We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
