why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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