remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize