How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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