thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
