he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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