O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
50% drunk capacity currently
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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