I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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