I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
