The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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