Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
