that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just found puke in my bra..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
