I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
