Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
