we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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