I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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