You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
