Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So squirting runs in the family.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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