I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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