Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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