Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
