you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
