Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
FUCK WHALES
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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