I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
